Ted Arthur Haggard

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Ted Arthur Haggard (born June 27, 1956) is an Americanevangelicalpastor. Known as Pastor Ted to the congregation he served, he was the founder and former pastor of the New Life Church in Colorado Springs, Colorado; a founder of the Association of Life-Giving Churches; and was leader of the National Association of Evangelicals (NAE) from 2003 until November 2006.
In November 2006, escort and masseurMike Jones alleged that Haggard had paid him for sex for three years and had also purchased and used crystal methamphetamine.[1] A few days later Haggard resigned from all of his leadership positions.
After the scandal was publicized, Haggard entered three weeks of intensive counseling, overseen by four ministers. In February 2007, one of those ministers, Tim Ralph, said that Haggard "is completely heterosexual."[2] Ralph later said he meant that therapy "gave Ted the tools to help to embrace his heterosexual side." On June 1, 2010 Haggard announced that he intended to start a new church in Colorado Springs.[3] In the February 2011 issue of GQ, Haggard said "...probably, if I were 21 in this society, I would identify myself as a bisexual."[4]

Early life and education
The main entrance of New Life Church in Colorado Springs
Haggard was born in Indiana.[5] His father, J. M. Haggard, a practicing veterinarian in Yorktown, Indiana, founded an international charismatic ministry, which was featured in a PBSMiddletown documentary series.[6]
In 1972, at age sixteen, Haggard became a born-again Christian after hearing a sermon from evangelist Bill Bright in Dallas, Texas and becoming acquainted with the Christian apologetics of C.S. Lewis.[6] As a co-editor of his high-school newspaper in 1974, he published remarkably frank articles which described services that were available to prevent and deal with increasingly prevalent pregnancies and STDs. These articles scandalized his small town and embroiled him in a free-press lawsuit.
Haggard describes feeling the call of God on his life after his first year in college, while he was in the kitchen at home. He had been a telecommunications major with a minor in journalism, but after this experience he believed he had been called to pastor. "I was totally surprised," Haggard wrote in The Life-Giving Church. "I . . . told the Lord I wanted to serve Him. But before I mentioned this to anyone, especially to my parents, I asked the Lord to assure me by using others to confirm His calling on my life. I felt as though He consented . . ." Within forty-eight hours, Haggard felt that he received four unsolicited confirmations: from a Sunday school teacher, a pastor, a friend, and from his father.[7] Haggard subsequently attended Oral Roberts University, a Christian university in Tulsa, Oklahoma, graduating in 1978.[8]

Career as minister
According to Haggard, in November 1984, when he was an associate pastor of Bethany World Prayer Center in Baton Rouge, Louisiana, his confidant and mentor Danny Ost, a missionary to Mexico City, had a vision of Haggard founding his church in Colorado Springs. Accordingly, Haggard moved to Colorado shortly afterwards, and founded New Life Church. Initially, the 22 people who met in the basement of Haggard's house formed his church, which then grew to rented spaces in strip malls.[9] Haggard was unconventional in his approach to ministering to people. Through random acts of kindness, Haggard would sometimes skip the morning offering and surprise needy people, like returning military personnel and single parents, with financial blessings by asking the congregation to lay money at their feet as they stood in front of the congregation. After 22 years, New Life Church operated from a campus in northern Colorado Springs and had a congregation of 14,000.[10] In 1993, during what Haggard describes as his "first prayer journey," he traveled with a group to Israel. They stood on the Mount of Olives, where Haggard claimed to have felt the Holy Spirit speak to him. "From that time until now," Haggard writes in The Life-Giving Church, "apostolic power has blessed me. My only problems are with me — not with the enemy, not with circumstances, not with people." [11]

Scandal and removal from job
In November 2006, escort and masseurMike Jones alleged that Haggard had paid Jones to engage in sex with him for three years and had also purchased and used crystal methamphetamine.[1] Jones said he had only recently learned of Haggard's true identity, and explained his reasons for coming forward by saying, "It made me angry that here’s someone preaching against gay marriage and going behind the scenes having gay sex." Jones made the allegations public in response to Haggard's political support for a Colorado Amendment 43 on the November 7, 2006 Colorado ballot that would ban same-sex marriage in that state. Jones told ABC News, "I had to expose the hypocrisy. He is in the position of influence of millions of followers, and he's preaching against gay marriage. But behind everybody's back [he's] doing what he's preached against."[12] Jones hoped that his statements would sway voters.[13]
Eventually, Haggard acknowledged almost all of the allegations against him, including using meth.[14]Haggard's immediate response was denial. He told a Denver television station, "I did not have a homosexual relationship with a man in Denver . . . I am steady with my wife. I'm faithful to my wife." Haggard also said, "I have never done drugs--ever. Not even in high school. I didn't smoke pot. I didn't do anything like that. I'm not a drug man. We're not a drinking family. I don't smoke cigarettes. I don't socially drink. We don't socially drink. We don't have wine in our house. We don't do that kind of thing." Cornered by his voicemail to Mike Jones requesting meth, Haggard told the press, "I bought it for myself but never used it. I was tempted but I never used it." Haggard claimed he bought the meth but threw it away.[15] Haggard claimed he had never met his accuser. Jones volunteered to take a polygraph test on a KHOW radio show hosted by Peter Boyles, where Jones first made the allegations. However, Jones's responses during the section of the polygraph test about whether he had engaged in sex with Haggard indicated deception. The test administrator, John Kresnik, discounted the test results because of Jones's stress and lack of eating or sleeping. Regardless, Haggard responded by saying, "We're so grateful that he failed a polygraph test this morning, my accuser did." Jones was not asked questions about drug use. Jones expressed doubt that he would retake the test, saying "I've made my point. He's the one who has discredited himself. He should admit it and move on."[16] Haggard initially claimed he had never heard of his accuser and denied having ever done drugs and stated "I have not, I have never had a gay relationship with anybody." Many evangelical leaders initially showed support for Haggard and were critical of media reports.[17] Despite his protestations, Haggard resigned from all of his leadership positions in religious organizations and was fired from his position as Senior Pastor of the church he founded.[18]
Haggard later resigned as president of the National Association of Evangelicals. He went on administrative leave from his position as senior pastor of New Life Church, saying "I am voluntarily stepping aside from leadership so that the overseer process can be allowed to proceed with integrity. I hope to be able to discuss this matter in more detail at a later date. In the interim, I will seek both spiritual advice and guidance."[19] On November 2, 2006, senior church officials told Colorado Springs television station KKTV that Haggard has admitted to some of the claims made by Jones.[20] In an e-mail to New Life Church parishioners sent on the evening of November 2, Acting Senior Pastor Ross Parsley wrote, "It is important for you to know that he [Haggard] confessed to the overseers that some of the accusations against him are true."[21]
Haggard admitted that he had purchased methamphetamine and received a massage from Jones, but he denied using the drugs or having sex with Jones. "I called him to buy some meth, but I threw it away. I bought it for myself but never used it", Haggard claimed in a television interview, and added, "I was tempted, but I never used it".[22] As it became apparent that some of the claims were true, some evangelical leaders such as Pat Robertson and Jerry Falwell sought to distance themselves and downplay Haggard's influence on religious conservatives and downplay the importance of the NAE. On his television show, The 700 Club, Robertson said, "We're sad to see any evangelical leader fall" and also said the claim that the NAE represents thirty million people "just isn't true.... We can't get their financial data. I think it's because they have very little money and very little influence". During a CNN interview, Jerry Falwell went on record saying, "[Haggard] doesn't really lead the movement. He's president of an association that's very loose-knit... and no one has looked to them for leadership."[23] White House spokesman Tony Fratto sought to downplay Haggard's influence on the White House by saying that Haggard was only occasionally part of the weekly calls between evangelical leaders and the White House and had visited there only "a couple" of times.
James Dobson had originally issued a statement of support for Haggard, which stated: ""It is unconscionable that the legitimate news media would report a rumor like this based on nothing but one man's accusation....Ted Haggard is a friend of mine, and it appears someone is trying to damage his reputation as a way of influencing the outcome of Tuesday's election -- especially the vote on Colorado's marriage-protection amendment, which Ted strongly supports."[24]. Days later Dobson issued another public statement saying he was "heartsick" of learning about Haggard's admissions and that "the possibility that an illicit relationship has occurred is alarming to us and to millions of others." He also stated that "[Haggard] will continue to be my friend, even if the worst allegations prove accurate" but "nevertheless, sexual sin, whether homosexual or heterosexual, has serious consequences."[25] Dobson initially offered to help counsel Haggard, but later announced a change of mind. “It is with great regret — and after much prayer and discussion with friends and family — that I have had to reconsider my involvement in the panel overseeing Ted’s restoration,” Dobson said in a statement. “Emotionally and spiritually, I wanted to be of help — but the reality is I don’t have the time to devote to such a critical responsibility.” On November 3, 2006, Haggard resigned his leadership of the National Association of Evangelicals.[18] The National Association of Evangelicals posted a statement accepting his resignation. Leith Anderson was appointed as the new president on November 7, 2006. The board cited the bylaws of the megachurch and said his conduct compelled them to remove him from his job.[26] The "Overseer Board of New Life Church" released a prepared statement on the afternoon of November 4, 2006 that stated: "Our investigation and Pastor Haggard's public statements have proven without a doubt that he has committed sexually immoral conduct." His removal was permanent; Ross Parsley, the Associate Senior Pastor, would hold that position. Haggard was counseled by a team including Jack Hayford and Tommy Barnett who stated their intention to "perform a thorough analysis of Haggard’s mental, spiritual, emotional and physical life,” including the use of polygraph tests. The team was to include James Dobson, who later stepped aside, citing time constraints. H.B. London, Focus on the Family’s vice president of church and clergy, took James Dobson’s place on the team.[27]
Newsweek's June 7, 2010 issue's BACK STORY listed Haggard, among others, as prominent conservative activitist who has a record of supporting anti-gay legislation and is later caught in a gay sex scandal.[28]

Since leaving the church
In April 2007, the Haggard family moved to Phoenix, Arizona to start the "restoration" process. They attended Phoenix First Assembly of God, whose pastor, Tommy Barnett, was on his counseling team. Haggard reached an agreement with New Life Church on a severance package that would pay him through 2007; one of the conditions was that he had to leave the Colorado Springs area.[29] His last reported income was $138,000, not including benefits. Since the scandal broke, attendance at New Life Church has been down about 20 percent with financial support falling 10 percent. As a consequence, the church has laid off 44 employees, representing about 12 percent of its workforce.[30] On February 6, 2008, the new pastor at New Life Church, former home to Haggard, issued a press release announcing that Haggard had requested to leave the team created to "restore" him and that as Haggard's restoration is "incomplete," he is not welcome to return to vocational ministry at New Life.[31]
In August 2007, Haggard released a statement asking for monetary donations to help support his family while he and his wife attend classes at the University of Phoenix, a university offering online degrees. The former pastor also said that his family was moving into the Dream Center, a Phoenix-based halfway house that ministers to recovering convicts, drug addicts, prostitutes, etc. Haggard is pursuing a degree in counseling while his wife Gayle is studying psychology. After Haggard's request for donations, a member of Haggard's restoration team said he should have consulted with them before releasing a statement. News media pointed to his reported income: in 2006, he received $115,000 for the 10 months he worked and also received an $85,000 anniversary bonus shortly before the scandal broke; after the scandal broke, the board of trustees of New Life Church agreed to give him a $138,000 severance. Additionally, the Haggards have a home in Colorado Springs, Colorado that is valued at more than $600,000 and Haggard still receives royalties from books he has authored, though sales of those books have fallen off. Questions also surfaced about the tax-exempt group Haggard asked that donations be sent to on his behalf: Families With a Mission. According to Haggard, the group would use 10% of donations for administrative costs and forward 90% to Haggard. But the group was dissolved in February 2007, according to the Colorado Secretary of State. A few days after Haggard's initial email statement, his restoration team stepped in to say his statement was "inappropriate" and that "Haggard was a little ahead of himself." They indicated that Haggard would not be working at the Dream Center or in ministry of any kind and that they advised Haggard to seek secular employment to support himself and his family.[32][33][34][35][36]
In June 2008, the severance deal with the New Life Church at an end, Haggard was "free to live where he wanted" and returned to his Colorado Springs home after living in Westwego, Louisiana since 2007. Also in June, an email surfaced in which Haggard admitted masturbating with Jones and taking drugs, as alleged in 2006. Kurt Serpe, who provided the email, said Haggard "craved sex, he was a sexaholic." In November 2008, Haggard said in guest sermons at an Illinois church that his actions had roots in sexual abuse by an adult when he was seven years old. He also agreed to appear in Alexandra Pelosi's HBO documentary about his sex scandal titled The Trials of Ted Haggard, that premiered on HBO in January 2009. According to the documentary, Haggard has begun a new career selling insurance.[37][38][39][40][41]
In January 2009, after the release of The Trials of Ted Haggard, Haggard and his wife, Gayle, appeared on The Oprah Winfrey Show, Larry King Live, Good Morning America, and other national media programs to offer a public apology and confession for the issues that spurred his resignation in November 2006. The Haggard couple both appeared on the syndicated television show Divorce Court. The program was scheduled for broadcast April 1–2, 2009. On the program, Ted says he wanted his wife to divorce him after the scandal, saying that he thought he had become so "toxic" that divorce was best for Gayle and children. On March 11, 2009, Haggard attended a performance of This Beautiful City, a play about him and the Colorado Springs evangelical community, in New York. In August 2009, Haggard told Charisma magazine: "I do not believe my childhood experience is an excuse. I fell into sin and failed to extract myself. I am responsible, and I have repented." He also extols the benefits of qualified counselors: "I highly recommend qualified Christian counseling... for anyone losing their fight with any kind of compulsive thoughts or behaviors. ... I believe our generation of believers is going to have to accept that it's not always lack of faith if we need counseling for assistance with integrity. If I had gone to counseling, I probably could have completely avoided my crisis."[42][43][44][45]
Since the "repentance broadcasts," Haggard and his wife have travelled to churches and appeared on radio and television broadcasts. They have also begun to have former church members and friends come to their home for "healing meetings," in which Haggard apologizes, answers any questions, and discusses "how the Gospel can inform our responses to others who violate biblical standards." The couple has been writing, traveling, and speaking about the events of the past several years. In November 2009, Haggard began holding prayer meetings in his Colorado Springs basement. One hundred ten people attended the first prayer meeting.[46] By the next meeting, the large number of attendees forced him to move the prayer meeting to his barn. Haggard also says he has been named an overseer at a church, someone who counsels and advises church leaders on moral, ethical and religious issues.[47] In May 2010, Haggard announced he was incorporating a new church for accounting purposes,[48] And by June 2010, Haggard said he would operate a full-blown church.[49] On April 11, 2010, Haggard and his wife conducted an interview at Lifepoint Church in Fredericksburg, VA. There was much controversy as to whether or not the church should pay for this interview.[50]

Other allegations surface
On January 23, 2009, less than one week before The Trials of Ted Haggard was released on HBO, officials from Haggard's former church announced that a young male church member had come forward in 2006 and that there was an "overwhelming pool of evidence [of an] inappropriate, consensual sexual relationship [that] went on for a long period of time [with Haggard] ... it wasn't a one-time act." Haggard's successor, Brady Boyd, said the church reached a six figure settlement with the man, who was in his early 20s at the time.[51] According to the man, the contact was "not consensual".[51] Later reports indicated that the relationship did not involve physical contact, but that on one occasion Haggard masturbated in front of the young man, who was 22 years old at the time.[52] The man, Grant Haas, added that New Life Church paid him $179,000 to cover his counseling to help recover from the situation, and pay college tuition.[53] Haggard openly admitted to the second, albeit nonsexual relationship with Haas on CNN and other media, and when asked if he had had additional gay relationships that have been unreported, Haggard did not provide a direct answer.[54] In the aftermath of both the allegations of New Life paying financial penalties to Haas and the documentary on Haggard's struggles being released, attendance and giving dropped substantially at New Life Church leading to a second round of layoffs in February.[55]

Return to the pulpit in Colorado Springs
In October 2009, the Colorado Springs Independent published the first extensive interview with Haggard to appear in the secular press since the 2006 scandal. Over the course of a 2½ hour interview, the former Pastor talked about the scandal, his agreement never to return to New Life or the state of Colorado, suicidal ideation and the prospect of starting a new church in Colorado Springs. "Back in the old days," said Haggard, "when somebody would get in trouble, they'd just need to move 40 or 50 miles, or a hundred miles, and they could start again. Not anymore. Which is one of the reasons why we needed to come home.Because I needed to finish this story from here."
On November 4, Haggard posted a message on his Twitter account announcing his intent to begin public prayer meetings in his Colorado Springs home. [56][57] Following one such meeting, Haggard referred to his "resurrection" subsequent to his death and burial.[58] As of December 7, he was holding the prayer meetings in his barn.[59]
On June 6, 2010 the first meeting of the St. James Church occurred with Haggard as the Pastor in Colorado Springs, Colorado at his home.[60] In a July 2010 interview he gave to CNN,[citation needed] Haggard claimed that his feelings of sexual attraction to other men had miraculously disappeared. Haggard portrayed his encounter with the male prostitute as a massage that went awry.[61]

Haggard has stated he believes in what is known as the Third Wave of the Holy Spirit and subscribes to the concept referred to as the Five-fold ministry – beliefs often associated with the charismatic movement. He has stated that he believes that there is one, all-knowing God, and that humans were created to be with him. Haggard has often stated that he is a part of the "non-fanatical" Charismatic movement which embraces both the mind and heart together as gifts from God in following Christ.[citation needed]

"Life-Giving Church"
Haggard developed a concept he called "The Life-Giving Church" which amounted to his ministry praxis. He believed that churches and their members either lived "in the Tree of Life" or "in the Tree of Knowledge of good and evil", referring to the two trees in the Garden of Eden (see Gen. 2:9). He wrote a book, The Life-Giving Church, to expound on this difference, and said that motivations are the key difference between two types of Christians. For instance, Haggard proposed, two women can stand outside an abortion clinic with protest signs. The "tree of life" protestor is there because she loves the unborn and has compassion for the mother and father. The "tree of knowledge of good and evil" protestor has come because she believes abortion is evil and must be stopped. "One way we can tell which tree we are living in," writes Haggard, "is our response to sin... one of the greatest marks of bearing His [Christ's] character is our response to someone else's sin. If we handle others' mistakes with a life-giving attitude, then we (and they) have the opportunity to enjoy great power and freedom. But if we handle others' mistakes negatively, then we're eating from the wrong tree and will begin to die." Christians who live in the "tree of life," writes Haggard, "grow in their understanding of right and wrong, and they find great insight, wisdom, victory and joy in the stream of Jesus' righteousness." Those who dwell in the opposite tree find and display "frustration, judgmental attitudes, and death."[62]
In The Life-Giving Church, Haggard sets forth bylaws he initiated which are meant to help other churches with forming their own bylaws. From the Statement of Faith, to the replacement of a new pastor, the entire set of bylaws is listed in the back of this book. A significant part of the bylaws is the universal pay scale Haggard instituted for all pastoral staff. Including himself, all pastors were paid on the same scale so that the longer one was employed, the better the pay became. There were also provisions for numbers of children in a family and years of pastoral experience. "I was there longer than a lot of the other people but, if you were a youth pastor there, at five years you were making what I was making at five years."[63][64]
A significant part of Haggard's ministry at New Life Church was based around an entrepreneurial leadership model. He wrote of the importance of this type of leadership in the book, The Life-Giving Church. Haggard felt that young and upcoming leaders of the church would bog down in "cumbersome systems" in their churches and decide to take their talents elsewhere, resulting in the church losing its "brightest and best future leaders".[65] Rather than a top-down command and control hierarchy where Haggard made all the decisions and people fell in line, he instituted a free market concept that encouraged young leaders to debate out the best ideas (even to the point of disagreeing with him) and pursue God-inspired[64] dreams and visions in their own departments and beyond. This style of leadership is best understood as servant leadership. In Ted's book, Primary Purpose, he explains that the normal leadership style that governments and many corporations use is top down, while the servant leadership he taught is the opposite. In a visual representation, Ted uses an upside down triangle to illustrate this concept. The leader is at the bottom and the people to be served are on top. This "Philippians 2 Attitude" comes from the scripture that states, "Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your interests, but also to the interests of others."[66] "I took a free-market approach to that and just wanted to empower people to minister whatever was in their hearts."[64] Some of the best known results of this model are the Mill (the largest college ministry in America), the Desperation Band and Desperation interns, the Furnace and World Prayer Center, 24/7 leadership training and New Life Groups, a unique brand of free-market small groups as well as many others.[67] As an example of his coaching of young leaders, John Bolin, in the book he wrote with Haggard says, "He (Haggard) talked about communicating with people by improving my posture, poise, and delivery. He painstakingly coached me to stand up tall, to speak with confidence, to look people in the eye, and to articulate with concise clarity... he knew I wouldn't be effective... unless I understood the principle of communication and connection by presenting myself well".[68] While some detractors,[who?] post-crisis, have criticized Haggard's leadership style as creating "silos," there is little doubt that his style led to the growth of New Life, at its peak, to 14,000 members.[69][70][71][72]

In 2005, Haggard was listed by Time magazine as one of the top 25 most influential evangelicals in America.[73] Haggard was a firm supporter of former US President George W. Bush, and is sometimes credited with rallying evangelicals behind Bush during the 2004 election.[74] Author Jeff Sharlet reported in 2005 that Haggard "talks to... Bush or his advisers every Monday" and stated at that time that "no pastor in America holds more sway over the political direction of evangelicalism."[75]
Haggard has stated that fighting global warming is an important issue, a divisive issue among Evangelical leaders. Though he personally supported the Evangelical Climate Initiative, the NAE did not adopt a position.[76]

Teachings on homosexuality
In 2006, Haggard and his church supported "Amendment 43" to the Colorado Constitution.[77] It provided, "Only a union of one man and one woman shall be valid or recognized as a marriage in this state."[78] Although Colorado law already defined marriage as being between a man and a woman, Haggard and other gay rights opponents sought to enshrine the prohibition in the state constitution, so that the Colorado Supreme Courtwould not have the power to declare the statute unconstitutional. In the movie Jesus Camp, Haggard says, "we don't have to debate about what we should think about homosexual activity. It’s written in the Bible."[79] Although Haggard opposes same-sex marriage, he has suggested that there should be civil unions for homosexual couples.[80]
Under Haggard's leadership, the NAE released "For the Health of the Nation: An Evangelical Call to Civic Responsibility" in late 2004, "a document urging engagement in traditional culture war issues such as abortion and gay marriage but also poverty, education, taxes, welfare and immigration." The NAE has stated that "homosexual activity, like adulterous relationships, is clearly condemned in the Scriptures."

Television and movie appearances
Haggard has appeared on several broadcast network programs, including Dateline NBC and ABC's 20/20. He also appears in the documentary Jesus Camp,[81][82] the History Channel documentary The Antichrist, the documentary Constantine's Sword, as well as the HBO documentary Friends of God: A Road Trip with Alexandra Pelosi. In 2009, Pelosi made The Trials of Ted Haggard, a film which documented Haggard's life in exile after the scandal, which was aired on HBO. To date, this documentary has been shown over forty times on HBO. Trials has received critical acclaim.
In early 2006, evolutionary biologist Richard Dawkins interviewed Haggard as part of a British television documentary entitled The Root of All Evil?.[83] During this interview, Dawkins spoke with Haggard about contradictions between the cumulative knowledge produced by science, and a literal interpretation of the Bible (particularly its account of creation). In response, Haggard claimed to "fully embrace the scientific method." Haggard then stated that the conclusions of that method regarding the age of the earth and evolution were only the result of "some of the views that are accepted in some portions of the scientific community." When Dawkins pointed out Haggard's misconception of the theory of evolution (for instance Haggard's notion that complex organs such as the eye spontaneously manifested), Haggard suggested that Dawkins should be less arrogant about his learning.
As Dawkins and his film crew were packing up to leave, there was a brief altercation in the church parking lot. According to Dawkins, Haggard ordered Dawkins's crew off his land with the words "You called my children animals" and threatened legal action and confiscation of their recording equipment. Later, Dawkins speculated that Haggard actually believed that Dawkins had implied that his children were animals, something Dawkins reflected he agrees with, given common descent.
Most recently, Haggard appeared in the reality television show "Celebrity Wife Swap", where he swapped wives for one week with Gary Busey.

Personal life
In 1978, Haggard married Gayle Alcorn.[84] The couple has five children: Christy (1981), Marcus (1983) (founder and former pastor of Boulder Street Church, Colorado Springs[85]), Jonathan (1987), Alex (1990), and Elliott (1993).[86] In an interview published in the February 2011 issue of GQ, Haggard said, "I think that probably, if I were 21 in this society, I would identify myself as a bisexual," adding that "Just like you're a heterosexual but you don't have sex with every woman that you're attracted to, so I can be who I am and exclusively have sex with my wife and be perfectly satisfied."[87][88]

[edit] Books